My lack of general understanding in this life is something I simultaneously loathe and love. The moment I believe I’ve got it all figured out, my growth will cease. Therefore, I must embrace my human fallibility (acknowledge God’s sovereignty), my mistakes (look for lessons He’s teaching me), and utter failure to comprehend deeper meaning (let go and let God). To appropriately address this is to pray for wisdom, discernment, direction, brokenness, and humility to accept correction and encouragement.
When one prays for these things, it becomes paramount to prepare for the consequences. What I can only refer to as heightened perception, altered perspective, and a sense of unrest continue to build inside me. Although normally this would be upsetting to me, instead my hunger and thirst for communion with the Lord has intensified. I feel God directing me toward awareness in the moment; not allowing myself to waste any of what I’ve been so generously given. I pray that I will never stop fighting to give ever more of myself over to His will for me and what He wants to accomplish through me. No compartment of my life is safe from the refining fire, nor would I want it to be. Too often I’ve kept for myself that which I know is poisonous.
Sin is unavoidable, but that does not mean I shouldn’t do my all to leave it behind. With the Lord Jesus Christ’s help, I will escape temptation by the power of God’s faithfulness (I Corinthians 10:13).
In the (excruciatingly often) times I fall short, His grace is sufficient. His mercies are new every morning.