Oh My Goff

So, I’ve slacked off lately on blogging. I know. I’ve had a lot on my mind for awhile and haven’t felt like publishing it for the world to see. I still don’t. So I’m just gonna play catch up a bit and start again from here on out.
First off, I got the old heave-ho from Semitool. A few weeks ago we had a department meeting and were informed that there was to be a round of layoffs at Semitool, and I.T. would be cut by 1-3 people. This, of course, is a disconcerting thing to hear because the entire I.T. department consisted of 12 people at the time worldwide. Seeing as I was the latest hire and seemed to have the least amount of responsibility, I had a feeling I was going to be one of the chosen few. Last Monday, that feeling came to be truth. At 8:30AM, a co-worker and I were asked to go with the I.T. manager to the CFO’s office. In my manager’s hand were two large white stuffed envelopes. Lovely. It’s a bit of a walk from I.T. over to the executive area, and I felt like the entire production floor was staring at us as we solemnly walked by. That was the worst of it. After sitting down and hearing about a 20 second version of “The economy sucks, we have to let people go and you’re one of ‘em”, I was on my way back to my desk, envelope in hand. The anxiety that had plagued me since the department meeting weeks before was replaced by a simultaneous disappointment in myself and a feeling of peace, knowing that it was time to move on to the next chapter of Montana life.
After a minute or two of cleaning out my desk, I was out the door. Dozens of ex-employees came outside, one by one, and got into their cars, many looking crestfallen. I silently wondered what it would be like to have to come home and tell my family that I had lost my job. I made a couple quick calls to family members asking for prayer and started my car. A visit to the bank with my severance checks and a brief stop at my landlord’s leasing office to tell them the news brought little comfort. Some soul searching helped me realize that the Semitool job, while instrumental and certainly an integral part of what brought me to MT, left me feeling mis-utilized and unapplied. Coming home feeling unfulfilled was a part of my 5-day work week.

Fast forward to today – I’ve got a couple interviews lined up this week, one at The Summit, one at National Flood Services. I’m still submitting applications and resumes to prospective employers, of course, but it’s encouraging to have the interviews set. I’m hopeful and expectant that I will find something more fulfilling and better in line with my career goals. I’ve been evaluating the whole I.T. career path and I know I don’t have the passion for it. Ten years have passed, and I’m realizing that staring at a computer screen all day is about as fulfilling as it seems. I want to do something more involved with people, and right now the only industry that appears to be making money at doing this is healthcare. Unfortunately, I’m not a doctor/nurse/CNA/EMT/what have you. I’m weighing my options carefully and realize that it may be in my best interest to take a lower wage job if it means getting my foot in the door in the healthcare arena. On the other hand, I have many bills and necessary expenses that require a certain wage level. All of this just means that extra prayer and “finding myself” are paramount for prioritizing. Clearly, securing an income is at the top of the list. The desired change of career path isn’t one that can materialize overnight, barring some divine intervention and a winning lottery ticket for med school.
Letting go and trusting in God’s guidance and provision isn’t always easy, but it does bring me to a place of humility like none other. I’m so thankful for family and friends and the support they’ve demonstrated this especially this last week but really since I moved to the Flathead valley.