Oh My Goff

So, it’s time for a big catch-up session. Since the Polebridge trip, lots has happened….

Tense conversations ruled the airwaves between my parents and me for a couple months because I was keeping a horrible, dirty secret from them; I was planning to surprise my mom for her 50th birthday by flying out to L.A. and didn’t want to give it away (plus I hated flat out lying to them). An elaborate web of deceit and misdirection confused my poor mother  before the glory was revealed. Originally she believed that she was simply going to spend a weekend away with my dad alone at some beach cottages in San Diego. In reality, the whole side of my dad’s family plus my siblings and I would be there. The basic outline for the plan was this:
Step 1. Tell family I can’t get vacation  until June.
Step 2. I fly in a few days before mom’s birthday at the end of April. Only my sister knows.
Step 3. I show up unannounced at the birthday dinner at Bossa Nova to surprise mom with flowers.
Step 4. I lie to mom again by telling her that I’m only in town for that night and have to fly back the next day.
Step 5. Surprise her again when the family meets up with her in San Diego for the weekend. (She thought it was only going to be herself and my dad there).
Step 6. Profit.
The outcome was utter success in every sense possible. My family was delighted to see me and I them…in fact, it was one of the best times we’ve had together as a family that I can remember. God definitely blessed the trip and I’m very thankful for the time I had with my mother.

Since I was in So Cal for 10 days, I had oodles of time to spend with friends as well. Sean and Sheena were kind enough to open their home and allowed me to stay with them most of the time I was in Los Angeles. It was as if I’d never left last year…we all got along crazily like old times Wii sports and WarioWare concluded nearly every night I slept over. Our mutual friend from Hawaii, Kevin, was in town (we kinda planned it this way) so we invited him over for some extra good times. A post-modern Family Dinner night took place on the first Wednesday of the trip, filled with old and new friends, food, jenga, and twister. I was a little surprised by my own reaction to some of the people/situations I hadn’t seen/been in for awhile, but I think it’s simply part of growing up. Becoming more tolerant of some things and less tolerant of others, finding myself – blah blah blah. I still love everyone that I did before I left in 2008. I just know that some friendships have already sailed, and that’s okay. Getting to concentrate on spending time with people I cared about most was a good thing. I’ll probably blog about this more later on, but for now I’m very content and satisfied with how the trip went overall, and I don’t think I’d change a thing.

In other news, here we are in the middle of May, and there was freezing rain today as I made the 5-minute drive to Costco. What the heck?

As I mentioned in my last post, I visited Polebridge a couple of weekends ago. After we spotted the herd of elk, we continued on our way, stopping at Polebridge Mercantile, the only store in “town”. Pastries and baked goods are a specialty of P.M., and the members of our caravan wasted no time purchasing and consuming various said items. Arriving at Schnaus cabin soon thereafter, we were greeted with one of the best views from a porch I’ve ever seen in my life (click for full-size):

Taking a few moments to soak it in, we unpacked our gear and food and strapped on some XC skis. It being my first time, I was a little wobbly at first but I was near the front of the pack in no time. Sidenote: cross-country skiing is really, really fun. It’s a great workout and our particular location afforded us prime views of the river and surrounding valley. 
Several miles each way and a few protein bars later, we were back at the cabin, relaxing and beginning to cook our feast of a dinner. Homemade chili, garlic shrimp, and split pea soup headlined the meal with a variety of other snacks and victuals available. Fortunately, though there was no electricity at Schnaus cabin, there were gas lamps which enabled us to play a few rounds of Scattergories. An impromptu drum circle session ensued, with an assortment of cowbells being the main attraction. Thanks, Christopher Walken.
A somewhat sleepless night with several pitch-black trips to the outhouse to empty my bladder resulted in a surprisingly easy morning wake-up. Once again donning the skis, this time we got back on North Fork road and headed further north, finally parking at the end of the line at Trail Creek Rd. Warmer weather and more level ground slowed us down compared to the previous day, but it was a welcome change of pace and allowed more time to take in the gorgeous surroundings. All too soon, it was time to head back to town…
A return visit to Schnaus cabin is in my future, this I know.

A couple of weekends ago I had the privilege of joining a group of folks to travel to the remote town of Polebridge, very close to the Canadian border, north of Columbia Falls. The one and a half hour drive up the North Fork was scenic to say the least, and resulted in several stops to take pictures. About 10 minutes south of Polebridge we happened upon this group of elk (the picture doesn’t do it justice, it was a full-on herd). Click on the picture for more pics of Polebridge.

More about the trip later!

Working nights is a pain, yes. But here are some good things about it:

1. Affords one the opportunity to become proficient at duct taping cardboard together over one’s windows. I’m serious. I have that ish down.
2. Save money on a health club membership by turning the empty office building into my own personal gym during break time; namely, the stairs. Lots of them. Repeatedly.
3. Having a 4 day on 3 day off schedule is underrated. I mean, who doesn’t want to stay up 3 nights in a row all by themselves doing nothing?! It’s a no-brainer. (Note: sarcasm. I must say, however, that it makes for good reading time.)
4. Makes for interesting conversation with grocery store employees while shopping at night. Though I’m pretty sure at least one of them thinks I’m doing meth.
5. This is a silly list but in the end, attitude determines altitude and regardless of what shift I’m working, being happy and content is more important.

Proper perspective reveals that it’s really not what happens to us that dictates our level of happiness, it’s how we react to and treat these events and circumstances. I may not have the dream schedule I desire, but I also realize that there is a season for everything, and if this one gives me the chance to gain a better perspective and find a deeper, more meaningful existence then I’m all for it.

Nike’s onto something.

My last post may have come across as somewhat dreary. Indeed it was a tough time and while the idea of not working for 5 weeks may sound like a dream come true to some, in reality it was stressful and not very enjoyable at all. Unemployment hardly covers rent let alone any other bills whatsoever. Thankfully, the winds of change brought new things in December, including a new job at National Flood Services (NFS) in Kalispell, MT. So far it’s been pedal to the metal there, training on their particular ticket tracking system, HP-3000, and AS/400 systems spread out over the day, swing, and mid(night) shifts respectively. This has left me little time for “fun” or leisure time, but yesterday I had somewhat of a breakthrough in my perspective. Whereas at Semitool I felt unapplied, under-utilized, and unfulfilled, working at NFS leaves me feeling challenged, fulfilled, and that I’ve accomplished a hard days work. Nevermind the fact that their benefits are of a much higher quality than Semitool’s and will save me hundreds of dollars each month. Finally, NFS makes money hand over fist; it’s not at the mercy of the cyclical nature of the semiconductor industry and is therefore in zero danger of having a layoff season.

At the end of the day, I realize that attitude determines altitude…and my new job is everything I’ve wanted. Beyond that, what’s there to worry about?

So, I’ve slacked off lately on blogging. I know. I’ve had a lot on my mind for awhile and haven’t felt like publishing it for the world to see. I still don’t. So I’m just gonna play catch up a bit and start again from here on out.
First off, I got the old heave-ho from Semitool. A few weeks ago we had a department meeting and were informed that there was to be a round of layoffs at Semitool, and I.T. would be cut by 1-3 people. This, of course, is a disconcerting thing to hear because the entire I.T. department consisted of 12 people at the time worldwide. Seeing as I was the latest hire and seemed to have the least amount of responsibility, I had a feeling I was going to be one of the chosen few. Last Monday, that feeling came to be truth. At 8:30AM, a co-worker and I were asked to go with the I.T. manager to the CFO’s office. In my manager’s hand were two large white stuffed envelopes. Lovely. It’s a bit of a walk from I.T. over to the executive area, and I felt like the entire production floor was staring at us as we solemnly walked by. That was the worst of it. After sitting down and hearing about a 20 second version of “The economy sucks, we have to let people go and you’re one of ‘em”, I was on my way back to my desk, envelope in hand. The anxiety that had plagued me since the department meeting weeks before was replaced by a simultaneous disappointment in myself and a feeling of peace, knowing that it was time to move on to the next chapter of Montana life.
After a minute or two of cleaning out my desk, I was out the door. Dozens of ex-employees came outside, one by one, and got into their cars, many looking crestfallen. I silently wondered what it would be like to have to come home and tell my family that I had lost my job. I made a couple quick calls to family members asking for prayer and started my car. A visit to the bank with my severance checks and a brief stop at my landlord’s leasing office to tell them the news brought little comfort. Some soul searching helped me realize that the Semitool job, while instrumental and certainly an integral part of what brought me to MT, left me feeling mis-utilized and unapplied. Coming home feeling unfulfilled was a part of my 5-day work week.

Fast forward to today – I’ve got a couple interviews lined up this week, one at The Summit, one at National Flood Services. I’m still submitting applications and resumes to prospective employers, of course, but it’s encouraging to have the interviews set. I’m hopeful and expectant that I will find something more fulfilling and better in line with my career goals. I’ve been evaluating the whole I.T. career path and I know I don’t have the passion for it. Ten years have passed, and I’m realizing that staring at a computer screen all day is about as fulfilling as it seems. I want to do something more involved with people, and right now the only industry that appears to be making money at doing this is healthcare. Unfortunately, I’m not a doctor/nurse/CNA/EMT/what have you. I’m weighing my options carefully and realize that it may be in my best interest to take a lower wage job if it means getting my foot in the door in the healthcare arena. On the other hand, I have many bills and necessary expenses that require a certain wage level. All of this just means that extra prayer and “finding myself” are paramount for prioritizing. Clearly, securing an income is at the top of the list. The desired change of career path isn’t one that can materialize overnight, barring some divine intervention and a winning lottery ticket for med school.
Letting go and trusting in God’s guidance and provision isn’t always easy, but it does bring me to a place of humility like none other. I’m so thankful for family and friends and the support they’ve demonstrated this especially this last week but really since I moved to the Flathead valley.

Stability compromised by complexity,
growing roots of doubt, corrupting
virtue infiltrated in its core leaving
a wake of discrepant faces

Time left to itself, recovery
newfound structure, strength restored by association
the mirage of focus, a radiant beacon
new cracks unveil the impasse.

Aimless cracks, alive but insignificant
ambition absent save to prevent extinction
intersect at the whim of nature
as leaves in the wind, tattered orphans remain.

Ebb and flow, they strengthen
ascending in magnitude, pushing limits
secondary clefts develop, redirection inescapable
new bearings and attitude in mind, they follow
their own trail, the lots cast.

What does it say about our society when our e-mail provider have to intervene with a “feature” to help us check our drunk-texting selves at the door? Not good things. Here’s a snippet from Google’s blog:

“When you enable Mail Goggles, it will check that you’re really sure you want to send that late night Friday email. And what better way to check than by making you solve a few simple math problems after you click send to verify you’re in the right state of mind?“

Hilarious, yet sad.